Sex and disability: How to help a disabled person having sex?

Francesco and Roberta met at the disco and the one that had to be an adventure from a blow and away has become a love story. Now they are husband and wife and live happy together. A story like many? Unfortunately it is not like that. Francesco is a disabled boy and that evening in the disco he was on his wheelchair but in Roberta that chair didn't seem like an obstacle. A rare case in a country where words are used in rare occasions Sex and disability In the same phrase.

The fact that culturally exists an image of sexuality as an exclusive of "normodotate"It makes it even more difficult to live certain experiences to physical or psychic handicaps. Instead, it is enough to make some research more in depth to realize that sexuality is an important aspect in the life of every human being.

Today with this article we want to inaugurate a series of publications on topics concerning disability and sexuality. We want to offer information that allow you to clarify how to help a disabled person having sex.

But, be careful! We do not only turn to disabled people and their partners, their family or those who take care of them, but the message is addressed to everyone. Because? Because, unfortunately, so that Freedom of sexual choice It may be a right of all you have to overcome many barriers yet.

The taboo of the sexuality of the disabled

If until a few years ago the sexuality was taboo, speak openly of sex is quite natural among today's young people. This opening is the result of greater education on the subject and fruit of the company changing.

Despite this, you can't consider a full conquest. What is, for example of theaffectivity and sexuality of people with disabilities? Have you ever wondered how the disabled makes love?

If you are part of that 56.1% of the disabled people who live sexuality with their companion or companion (results of the disabled survey Desirable from MySecretCase) You will probably have more than one answer to these questions.

Or, as much of the company you have no idea what the answer is. Probably, you didn't even know that you could Contemplate sex with disabled people.

According to Dr. Alisa Arfini interviewed on the Republic, at the origin of this image of the assessed disabledness there is the failure to recognize the fact that the disabled person has like all an erotic sphere and is able to arouse and of Try desire and pleasure.

Although in many cases those who own a handicap does not have autonomy to cook, dress up or make other daily functions, this does not mean that the disabled people do not need affectivity and sexuality, building love and affective relationships.

On this subject also the World Health Organization has already been expressed for some decades by defining the Sex as a fundamental component Sexual health. He also stated that that sexual health can be reached and maintained, sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected and implemented.

Overcome certain barriers seems impossible, but in some European countries there are already initiatives aimed at accompanying and assisting people even in the sexual sphere.

Even in Italy something seems to move towards greater understanding and acceptance of binomial sex and disability.

How to help a disabled person having sex

If an institutional and legislative level there is still much work to be done to provide appropriate assistance so that people with disabilities should be ensured the necessary assistance in order to have freedom of choice and enjoy the benefits of sexuality in their lives, fortunately, in recent years, initiatives that promote this right have multiplied. Associations and influencers at the local level and on the web move and struggle to break the taboo on sexuality in disabledWhich still stands in the minds of many.

Knowing these initiatives is a good starting point to understand how you can help a disabled person to have sex:

It is the project of Max Ulivieri known web designer and blogger from Bologna, who for years toured Italy to raise awareness on issues such as accessibility and the right to sexuality of disabled people. The Lovegiver Committee for sexual services also in Italy, promotes the establishment of the Figure sexual helper in our country, but already present in other European countries such as Switzerland, Germany, Holland, Austria and Denmark. In the next post we will explain in more detail What is the sexual assistant and what she does. Do not miss it.

disability desirable

The campaign promoted by Mysecretcase, a company specializing in sex toys, to break the taboo that goes around disabilities and gender. The action is developed on two fronts: on the one hand a nationwide survey who reported interesting data on disability and sexuality, on the other, interviews and testimonies on Instagram with the participation of influencers with disabilities.

Films and books

For some years now on the big screen it has begun to speak of sexuality in disabled people and their problems. We point out, for example, the Italian documentaries "The Special Need" And "Because of my body"And the American film" The Sessions "by Ben Lewin, 2012.

Even the literature related to this issue offers interesting titles. In Italian, "Il kamasabile" book narrated in first person by Bruno Tescari, which recounts the battles against disability, conducted in the seventies; "LoveAbility", The first Italian opera that is sexual assistance for people with disabilities; "The Accarezzatrice"Giorgia Wurth, A novel that tells the story of Joy, a nurse who discovers the world full of hope and courage disability.

Sex toys

The erotic accessories can be of support tools for the sex of the disabled, as are the rest of the people. Thanks to the internet that has made the purchase of these accessories much easier and anonymous, and technology that offers secure and options that meet every need, erotic and real doll toys can contribute to greater comfort, freedom and independence of sexual persons with disabilities.

realistic sex dolls silicone

On e-commerce specialist as RealSexDoll you can buy sex dolls for adults, high quality products that meet different needs, allowing you to improve the experience of sex in pairs and masturbation. One can say that these accessories have more than one function: enjoy, allow you to discover and experiment with his own sexuality and can help overcome the insecurities that sometimes even the most minor disabilities, such as physical imperfections, they can create. 

Intimate Rider

It is the rocking chair to have sex on the chair designed by Danilo Aragon, a paralyzed chest designer down due to an accident that has not lost soul and after the lesion has invested on the creation of design wheelchairs to offer greater comfort, agility and independence to disabled person and their partners . In addition to the chairs designed for the aid in paraplegia and sexuality, this professional is also known for its chairs for athletes with handicap.

How to have sex with disabilities

As we previously emphasized, sexuality includes a series of factors that go beyond the mere sexual act with recreational or reproductive end. Sexuality involves psychological, social and cultural aspects.

For this reason, even if at this point the answer to the question "A disabled person can have sex", obviously it is yes, the answer to the question "How to have sex with a disabled person" cannot be only one.

First of all, they are necessary: ​​training, sensitivity, respect, self-esteem, understanding and professionalism. These are the same assumptions that allow everyone to consider and accept the uniqueness and complexity of the sex life of each individual without stereotypes.

We are of the opinion that you ask yourself how those we have tried to answer in this post is the first step towards the deconstruction of taboos on sex and disability.